Never Letting Go
by pinkharts
Summary: She ran away once but this time he isn't letting her get away again. Back To School Exchange for Natalie (star darling xo)


**Eh, as usual I had writer's block so sorry if this story is sucky. Anyways, this is for the Back to School Exchange for the lovely Natalie (star darling xo).**

**Prompts: hushed harmonies, she was innocent down to the bone, "is it still an option to run away?", silver knobs**

**Pairing: Massie/Derrick**

**Warning: This is going to be a very long one-shot b/c I didn't know how to make it shorter haha.**

**P.S.-Sorry I uploaded this so late. My internet wasn't working last night so I couldn't upload it! Also, judging by the prompts, I felt like it was going to be sad story, but as you'll see, it didn't turn out that way.**

* * *

It's been one year since she graduated; one year since she left without saying goodbye; and one year since she forced herself to forget about _him_ and everything that happened that night. But as soon as Massie steps out of the taxi, she regrets coming back. She debates on getting back into the taxi but the loud music coming from next door distracts her for a moment and when she turns back around, the driver has already driven off leaving a trail of exhaust fumes in its wake. Left with no choice, Massie slowly makes her way to the front door.

She's not greeted by her mom or brother welcoming her home. She assumes her mom is out on her hundredth date with some random guy she barely knows and her brother is probably out getting high with his friends. Instead, she's come home to an empty house. But that's not a surprise; it's always been like this. Flipping on the kitchen lights, Massie surveys her surroundings. Nothing's changed since the last time she was here. Every inch of the house is spotless and nothing is out of order—thanks to the cleaners, not her parents.

Dragging her suitcases up the stairs, Massie opens the door to her room and finds herself relaxing a little bit. After her long trip, her bed looks enticing and she's tempted to just plop down in her clothes and go to sleep but the pounding music coming from next door isn't going to let her. Despite the noise, Massie decides to slide her window open to let in some fresh air. Just as she's about to turn around, her eye catches on the light that illuminates the room across from hers and cringes. The blinds are up and Massie can see a couple making out heavily on the bed.

"Massie! Is that you?" A voice from down below calls out to her.

Massie breaks her gaze away from the window and glances down and sees high school best friend, Claire, squinting her eyes in the dark. She starts to back away from her window but Claire's loud voice stops her.

"Oh my God, it is you! I knew it!" Claire squealed, walking closer until she was right next to the fence. "I thought I saw you outside earlier, but I wasn't sure!"

"Hey, Claire," Massie says, "Yeah, I just got back."

"You're just in time!" Claire smiles, "Come over, the party just started and there are tons of people dying to see you!"

"Sorry, but I'm tired so I think I'm just going to sleep." Massie says. This is exactly what she wanted to avoid. "But tell everyone I say hi."

"Oh, please, don't try to pull this bullshit with me. Get your ass down here or else I'm coming to get you." Claire calls out.

When Claire wanted something, she got it. Seeing no way out of this, Massie groans inwardly but plasters on a fake smile and calls down to Claire. "I'll be right there! Just give me a sec."

Massie pulls her hair out of her ponytail and gives it a quick tousle in an attempt to make it not look like a rat's nest. As she quickly swipes on some lip gloss, she pauses. What is she doing? Why does she care about how she looks? It's not like she's trying to impress anyone. Without another glance in the mirror, Massie leaves her house and counts the steps as she makes her way over to his house.

She's enveloped into a tight hug the instant she steps onto the front lawn and Claire has to force herself to wrap her arms around Claire. She pulls back and Massie can tell by her glazed eyes, bright cheeks, and overwhelming alcohol smell that Claire's already drunk. Claire is always a touchy person when she's drunk.

"I'm so glad you're here!" Claire grabs Massie's hand and drags her into the house. "The rest of the girls can't wait to see you!"

Ten minutes. Ten minutes and I'm out. Massie thinks as the two maneuver their way through the throng of sweaty people dancing. She keeps her eyes trained on the floor to avoid running into_ him_. As they make their way through the house, she can hear people whispering to each other in hushed harmonies. There's no doubt they're talking about her. Finally they make it to the kitchen where Alicia, Dylan, and Kristen are making themselves some drinks. When they see Massie, they squeal simultaneously and each take their turn hugging her. Though they haven't seen each other in the past year, they act as if they were still best friends in high school.

"We didn't know when you were coming back," Alicia says and offers a shot to Massie. "You didn't tell anyone when you were leaving and we were all wondering why."

Massie shakes her head and offers no response. She's always been what people called "innocent down to the bone". But since leaving, she had changed.

"Come on," Dylan teases, "It's summer. We gotta celebrate!"

Massie looks at the circle of expectant faces and gives in. The night couldn't get any worse so why not? She takes the shot from Alicia and downs it with no chaser.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Claire cheers and pours another drink for Massie. "Come on, let's go dance!"

Before Massie can say a word, she's being pulled again by Claire back through the crowd to the living room. The music is infectious and within a couple minutes, Massie finds herself letting go and dancing without care.

"I kinda wish we were still in high school," Kristen says as she appears next to Claire. "Everything was so much easier. Now I actually have to study for my midterms."

"Enough about school, Kristen! It's summer for God's sake!" Alicia frowned. "You need more drinks. It's been half an hour and you've only had one drink."

Massie suddenly remembers that she promised herself to only stay for ten minutes. She pulls Claire aside and shouts into her ear. "I gotta go now! I'll talk to you later, I guess."

Claire protests and tries to pull Massie back in to continue dancing. "But you've only been her for like, ten minutes."

"Exactly," Massie says, "I'm just really exhausted so I need to head back." The lies were just getting easier and easier to make up.

"Fine, text me tomorrow so we can all hang out!" Claire pouts before giving Massie another hug.

Massie nods, not bothering to tell Claire that she doesn't have her number anymore. With a quick wave to the other girls, she makes her way to the door, once again keeping her eyes down.

"Yo, Derrick! You got any more booze?"

At the mention of _his_ name, Massie's footsteps falters and she looks up—which is a mistake—because as soon as she does, she spots him in the corner, sitting on the couch with his arm draped around some blonde girl. She sees that they're just talking but the girl's hand is on his chest and she keeps flipping his hair. Massie can't help but wonder if Derrick is enjoying her company or not. He's talking with her but he barely looks at her.

"Yeah, it's in the garage," Derricks laughs, pointing in the direction of his garage.

And just like that, all the feelings and memories Massie has repressed come crashing back in an instant. She tears her gaze away from Derrick, but not before he looks over and catches her eye. She gasps and stumbles backward for a second before running to the door.

"Massie!" A guy grabs her arm and spins her around, pulling her into an awkward hug. "Long time no see!"

She's face to face with Cam, Derrick's best friend, and Claire, his girlfriend, is right next to him.

"See? I told you it was her," Claire beams.

"Does Derrick know you're here?" Cam asks.

"I think so," Massie answers, not bothering to tell him they'd made eye contact just ten seconds ago. "Anyways, it was good to see you, but I'm heading back now."

"Wait, you just got here and you have to talk to Derrick," Cam protests, blocking the door.

Massie glares at Cam. "Why do I have to talk to Derrick? We have nothing to talk about."

"You left without saying goodbye to anyone, especially Derrick. I'd say that's a good enough reason to talk," Cam points out. "You really messed him up. He's been looking for you for the past eight months."

"Yeah, you messed me up," Derrick's voice floats over Massie's shoulder from behind, making her shiver. He's so close that the heat of his body kisses her skin.

Massie tries to grab the silver knob behind Cam to open the door but Cam swiftly moves in front and leans against the door.

"You can keep trying to avoid me," Derrick breathes in her ears. "But sooner or later you're going to have to talk to me." His breath reeks of alcohol and his face is flushed.

"Perhaps, but not when you're drunk," Massie says, pulling herself away from Derrick.

"Please don't go," Derrick grabs Massie and pulls her into chest. "I just got you back." He tightens his grip around her.

Before she took off, the boundaries of their friendship were starting to blur. Massie thought time would fix this problem, but it seems like they're back to where they started.

"No one's got me back," Massie says, breaking the embrace. "I'm just here for summer break and only because I didn't have any money to go elsewhere. It's not like I had a choice."

Derrick's expression falls and his lips part for a second before he clasps them shut. He's speechless.

"I'm sorry," Massie says before turning around and weaving through the crowd and out the back door to escape. She runs all the way back to her house and doesn't stop until she's in her room. She collapses onto the ground to catch her breath—not from running away—but from running into Derrick. Massie closes her eyes as she thinks back to that night.

_**-xx-xx-xx-**_

_It's the night of Alicia's graduation party and though it's only one in the morning, Massie's already exhausted. Everyone else is busy celebrating and drinking while Massie looks around for Derrick. She finally spots him in the kitchen leaning against the counter chatting with Cam and a couple other guys._

_Massie places a hand on Derrick's shoulders and whispers into his ear. "Hey, I'm going to head home now."_

_Derrick wraps one arm around her waist and pulls her in. "Can we stay for a couple more hours?"_

_"You can stay if you want, but I'm going back now," Massie shakes her head. She was never much of a partier._

_"No, if you want to go, let's go." Derrick sets his drink down on the counter and grabs Massie's hand. "Come on."_

_"Are you sure you're okay to take her home?" Cam asks._

_"Don't worry, we walked here," Massie reassures. "We'll be fine."_

_"Looks like you'll be the one being taken home, Derrick," Cam jokes, slapping Derrick on the back._

_"Shut up," Derrick smirks, "I'm totally fine." He stumbles over a couple of empty pizza boxes on the ground._

_Massie rolls her eyes and the two make their way out of the house and down the street back to Derrick's house. When they reach his house, Massie grabs the key hidden underneath the fake rock near the door and unlocks the door. Thankfully Derrick isn't so drunk that he's unable to walk and Massie manages to drag him up the stairs to his room and dumps him onto his bed. She assumes Derrick's already asleep because his eyes are closed, but when she turns to leave, he catches her wrist._

_"Don't go," He whispers. "Stay with me tonight."_

_Massie gently releases Derrick's hand and rolls her eyes. This was not unusual. Whenever Derrick got drunk, he would always ask Massie to stay over. "Derrick, you're a big boy. Besides, I'm only going to be like, what, thirty feet away?"_

_"That's too far away," Derrick mumbles, completely serious._

_"You'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow," Massie smiles, kissing him on the forehead. She then tiptoes down the stairs before he can say anything more._

_The second Massie climbs into her bed, her eyes shut and she quickly falls asleep. But Massie's never been a light sleeper and she's not asleep for long. There's a thump near the window that startles Massie awake. A figure appears through the window and falls ungracefully to the ground_

_"Shit," The guy groans and when he stands up, the moon illuminates him and Massie can tell from his silhouette that it's Derrick._

_"Derrick! What the hell are you doing here?" Massie hisses. "And how'd you get up here?"_

_"There's a tree right outside your window in case you haven't noticed," Derrick chuckles, climbing into Massie's bed without hesitation._

_"That doesn't explain why you're here!"_

_"I told you thirty feet away is too far away," Derrick says, pulling Massie close to him so that her back was against his chest._

_She can feel his chest rising and falling steadily as he wraps his legs around hers. She doesn't deny that it feels good and that it feels right. Everyone always said they're more than friends but Massie herself never admits it. "You're an idiot, you know that?"_

_"I'm your idiot," Derrick mumbles, his mouth pressed against her neck._

_"My idiot?" Massie smiles. "I like the sound of that."_

_"Me too," Derrick chuckles. "Now go to sleep. I know you're tired."_

_"Yeah, thanks to you." Massie grumbles, smiling inwardly. She yawns and she feels Derrick's arms wrap around her tighter. Their bodies fit together in all the right places and before she drifts off, she thinks she hears Derrick whisper something that sounds like 'I love you'._

**-xx-xx-xx-**

Though those words should have made her feel like the luckiest girl in the world, Massie felt like the complete opposite. Unlike most people who say things they don't really mean when they're drunk, Derrick always spoke the truth when drunk.

Massie never got involved with any guys because she didn't want to have to deal with the aftermath of breaking up. She'd already seen what happens thanks to her mom and her constant break ups. Massie didn't want to go through the same thing; it was much easier just to stay single and avoid heartbreak.

Besides, Derrick's her best friend. They've known each other for more than ten years and they know everything about each other. Favorite food, sports teams, music, pet peeves, etc. Well, almost everything.

That's why the next morning after Derrick left, Massie made sure Derrick wasn't home and then packed her bags. She told her mom and brother that was she moving into her dorm early and they let her go. Before leaving, Massie made sure to deactivate her Facebook and all her other social websites to minimize contact.

A thump at the window breaks Massie out of her memory and she whips around and sees Derrick lying on the ground next to her night stand. This scene feels all too familiar and she groans. She should've kept the window closed the whole time. If she hadn't opened the window, she never would've seen into Derrick's room, Claire wouldn't have seen Massie, and Massie wouldn't have gone to the party and run into Derrick.

"Not this again, Derrick!" Massie exclaims, standing up to walk over to Derrick who had pushed himself up to a sitting position. "Why do you keep doing this?"

"You can't keep running away, Massie," Derrick says. "I'm not letting you leave this time."

This is just what she wants to avoid. "I told you we'd talk when you're not drunk anymore."

"I'm not that drunk," Derrick protests. "Besides, you know everything that comes out of my mouth when I'm drunk is the truth so don't use that as an excuse not to talk right now. This is your house so you can't try to escape again."

Massie frowns. She hates it when Derrick is right. "Fine, you want to talk? Let's talk."

Derrick's mouth lifts for a second before it settles back down into a straight line. He pulls Massie down onto her bed and asks the one question Massie doesn't want to hear. "Why did you leave?"

Massie opens her mouth to reply but she realizes that whatever she says probably isn't going to be a sufficient enough answer. She struggles to come up with any reason that will sound better than the real one. Massie feels Derrick's gaze burning into her and refuses to look him in the eyes.

"Massie?"

When she still doesn't look up, Derrick gently tilts her face up with his index finger so that she's forced to look at him. She hates that she can feel her heart beating faster at Derrick's touch

"Tell me," His voice is insistent yet soft.

"I was afraid," Massie finally admits.

"Afraid? Afraid of what?" Derrick looks confused.

"Afraid of you. Afraid of us."

"What are you talking about, Massie?" Derrick frowns. "Why were you afraid of me? Of us? What does any of that mean?"

Massie turns away from Derrick and glances at the moon outside. "You remember the night before I left?"

Derrick nods and waits for Massie to continue.

"Yousaidyoulovedme," Massie mumbles almost incoherently and shifts away from Derrick even more. She's nervous about his reaction and watches as realization slowly dawn on Derrick, but can't tell by the look on his face whether that realization is good or not. "Anyways, I didn't take it seriously. I assumed it was a mistake and you were drunk but I panicked and—"

Massie's words are cut off as Derrick quickly leans in and crushes his mouth against hers. She stiffens instantly; she doesn't know what to do. She can't deny she's imagined this scenario a thousand times since that night. One arm snakes around her waist and he pulls her closer while he uses the other to caress Massie's face. Massie tries to pull back but Derrick's grip tightens and the last of her resolve disappears. She hooks her arms around Derrick's neck and finds herself crawling onto his lap, never breaking the kiss for even a second.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the two manage to break apart to catch some air. Derrick's usually perfectly styled hair is flattened and messed up here and there and Massie's shirt has ridden up a considerable amount, exposing her stomach.

Derrick looks content with a lazy smile on his face. "Was that a mistake?"

As much as Massie wants to say yes, she can't deny all the feelings that have suddenly resurfaced so she shakes her head.

Derrick's smiles grows even bigger and he pulls her in for a hug. "And what I said that night wasn't a mistake either. If you had any doubts before, they should be all gone now, right?"

Massie nods again, still speechless.

"As long as you're with me, you have nothing to be afraid of," Derrick says. "I'm never going to let you go again. You can try to escape but I'm not going to let you succeed."

Massie laughs lightly. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." What she had just experienced with Derrick convinced her to stop doubting and take a chance. If there was anyone who could change her, it would be her best friend and she's never been more grateful for having him by her side.

"Now, should we continue from where we left off?" Derrick suggests, his hand slipping slightly under her shirt.

"You're such an idiot. Is it still an option to run away?" Massie jokes, lightly slapping Derrick.

"Yes, I'm the idiot that let you get away. But that's never going to happen again, because no, there's no option to run away," Derrick says. "There will never be an option to run away as long as you're with me. Remember that." He kisses her gently on forehead.

Massie smiles and returns the kiss, but on Derrick's lips. "I will."

* * *

**Soooo, as usual, I suck at endings. There were a lot more details I wanted to add, but that would've made the story way too long. But I hope you liked it anyway! Review?**


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